So Bad it’s Bad.

I had very good intentions of visiting the cinema this weekend. With one thing and another, however, that just didn’t happen so I ended up streaming King Arthur, Legend of the Sword instead. Go me!

While my expectations were very, very low, they far exceeded the reach of the film and I truly, truly, wish I could get this part of my life back.

Charlie Hunnam is very sad I didn't like his movie

This utter steaming turd pile of a film was so bad that I got complaints about the smell from five miles away and a visit from the serious crimes against art division of Interpol. I go on trial for watching this piece of faecal matter next week.

 

Special Advance Viewing showing the good bits

The cast mostly sleep-walked through the utterly turgid script and if they weren’t up for being cast as Sherwood Forest in the next version of a Robin Hood movie, they most certainly are now, and I am sure they’d be up to award-winning standards for general woodenness.

 

Charlie Hunnam is ecstatic at my review

Add to the kind of lazy direction you’d expect from a sloth on valium, over-reliance on dodgy special effects, the odd bits of the film that do stand out are drowned in the utter sewage the rest swamps us with. Laughable in parts for all the wrong reasons, it even fails to be so bad it's funny. It’s just so bad it’s bad.

Yes, elephants - in a King Arthur Film - Elephants. Sigh

 So, does it have any redeeming features whatsoever? Well, I am sure the people who judge the quality of the acting on the quality of the six-pack will find Oscar-winning moments in the early parts of the film where Charlie Hunnam aimlessly flails his arms around in a way designed to show off said musculature. I am sure you will understand if I say I could care less about that part, but I would have to try pretty hard.

By the Power of the SIX PACK!

Is that it? Not quite. The film is at its poor best when Guy Ritchie does his street kid stuff and does feature such characters as ‘Wet Stick’ and ‘Back Lack’ and various interestingly named Bills.

Sadly, this doesn’t save it from being the most uninteresting generic pile of dung I’ve seen recently. Go watch Twilight 3, god help me it's far better than this manure. 

The David Beckham Cameo just tops it all off. Seriously